Opinions of a murri woman...

Opinions of a murri woman...

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Heels and me, never to be....




Anybody that knows me, knows of my obsession with shoes.... High heels, sneakers, flats, I love them all.... I love them to the point where I’ll buy a new pair but automatically will want a new pair immediately after I buy them... I have shoes in my cupboard that I have worn once and never again... Shoes that haven't even been scratched up on the bottom of them yet cause they’ve never been worn... I have heels that are impossible to walk in and hurt my feet to no end, but yet they stand proudly in my shoe cupboard all pretty and innocent looking...  I have a sneaker collection that most men would probably envy, shoes that have cost more than my weekly food bill, but this week, I realized that my obsession with shoes is starting to become a joke... A very painful joke... 

I’ve been asked why I love shoes so much and I really can’t give an answer... It’s actually a very shallow hobby... I see shoes, I try them on and 3 minutes later I’ve got a shoe bag in my hand and I’m down another $50-$200 ... What. the. hell??? All I’m saying is, it just happens... I’ve always used the line of ‘There are plenty of worse addictions I could have, at least my shoe addiction isn’t hurting anyone’... STOP.... This is where I’m wrong.... Let me tell you why...

Last week, I walked past a very popular shoe store and saw a pair of pretty little high heel shoes in the ‘Marked down’ bin... I wasn’t even looking for shoes that day, I just happened to be walking past (which is usually how every shoe purchase is made)... I saw these black lace up, strappy, mid length high heels and I asked to try them on... ‘Size 7 please’ I informed the average looking shop keeper with her boring average make up and boring average outfit (wow, I’m a c*nt).... 

She came back with the pair of shoes... I tried them on, I walked 3 steps in one direction then turned around and walked 3 steps back in the same direction I just came... I stopped, looked in the mirror, turned, looked at my leg with the heels on and thought to myself, ‘What a hotcake’ (self love) then looked at the price tag, ‘$40 reduced from $150...... ‘I’LL TAKE THEM’!!! This all happened in the space of 3minutes... Just like that, the shoes were in my hand and I was headed off to my car.... Another pair added to my collection... 


Flash forward to Saturday afternoon and I was getting ready for a huge first night out in my new city of Brisbane with my new shoes in hand... I’d bought some waterproof, clear band aids earlier that day as I knew I would need them for my new shoes that night... After about a billion drinks, it was time to get dressed and strap on the new high heels... I was that drunk that I had lost my box of band aids and couldn’t find them anywhere... We were rushing to get ready and I just put my shoes on and headed out the door with only two band aids on that I could find in my drunken state.... Wrong move... So very wrong... 

All I remember at 3:30am on my way home from the club was moaning and feeling like I had knives stabbing every part of my foot.... I got home, ripped the shoes off and slept, only to wake with blisters on every single toe... That was last week... Flash forward another week and I STILL HAVE THE BLISTERS AND THEY HAVEN’T GONE AWAY..... How could my beautiful new shoes, so innocent looking with its sensible heel and great ankle support, betray me like that? I knew that discount was too good to be true...

For the past week, I have been in debilitating pain, watching my blisters grow bigger and bigger everyday... I’ve tried everything to fix them and heal them; detol, alovera, savalon cream, leaving it to dry out, walking, putting my leg up... Nothing seems to work... I now think that my foot maybe infected, one toe in particular, and with this thought, I come to say a big ‘fuck you’ to high heels.... 
 
Fellas, I don’t care how hot my legs look in high heels, or how well those heels go with my dress... I really don’t care if they are sexy...  At this rate, I don’t care if I have to stay home from every night club or every dinner date for the next 30 years... The thought of wearing a high heel right now with the way my toes are, I would rather eat a diseased rat from the dirty streets of Kings Cross before wearing another pair of high heels anytime soon...  

The shit we women are forced to do all in the name of vanity is just ridiculous... Like who the fuck would invent something where a woman will have to stand on her tippy toes the entire night and only be held up by a 4inch thin piece of wood under the bottom of her shoe.... Shit ain’t right... And who in her right mind would think that she could survive that without suffering the worst of pain? ME of course!!  

I’m sorry high heels, you’re pretty, you’re gorgeous, you make my legs go for days and make me feel sexy as hell, but you’re just not worth the pain... It’s not me, it’s definitely you... We have to take a break... 

In the mean time, somebody get me a doctor, a new set of toes, and a pair of Air Jordan sneakers because the high heel game and I are done!! 

Until next time, stay comfortable...






Cee xo