Opinions of a murri woman...

Opinions of a murri woman...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Only 'Love' can be both heaven and hell'....



Lets talk about a thing called 'Love'...


Now lets be honest, for anyone that knows me, you would know that I'm not the Girliest of Girls.. Sure I like men, I like to wear dresses, love high heels and the colour pink, but I also don't have a problem drinking beer, beltching when needed, forgetting mens names, and screaming at a TV While watching footy.... Point being: I never ever thought a girl like me would experience this thing called 'love'.

My belief in love was that it was for suckers, for people who are weak. For those who let someone of the opposite sex into their hearts, minds and inevitably bodies (thats a whole other topic, that I will no doubt touch on another time... No pun intended... Okay, maybe a lil bit of a pun intended...).... Love to me was something of a myth... Not reachable and only stuff you saw in movies like 'The Notebook'.. Right.... Wrong!

So flash forward a few years... At the age of 24, I felt for the first time what love is... Its the feeling of undescribable joy that one human being can give to another. The feeling of wanting someone so much that you would do anything for them. A feeling that is better than any drug or alcohol I've touched or tasted. Love that can concure any ill feeling or negativity. The effects that come from love are blinding and its like no one or nothing else exists. Its your first and last thought when you wake up and go to sleep at night.... In all, love is so undescribable that when you feel it, it changes who you are as a person and for me, changed who I am as a woman.

Now I know at this point you're probably starting to feel ill, no one likes a love sick chick right.. Yer I know this, but let me balance this out but telling you the negatives. Yes I felt what it is to love, but I also felt the downside and what its like to fall out of love...

The term 'Heartbroken' couldn't be any more true. I personally believe there should be some sort of sick leave off work/study JUST For having a broken heart. The feeling of rejection and sorrow are unbareable and bring you to your lowest point as an individual when felt. The effects one human can have on another are devestating. The feeling of loneliness and loss are close by with the feelings of losing a loved one to death, to the point that you have no more tears to cry and your heart literally hurts...

In the past few years, I have had both the highs and lows of this thing called love... I think to a point, once you love someone, you will always love them no matter what you may go through or how far you may drift apart. Love is the purest form of emotion you can feel as a human and if you get the chance to experience it, I wish you nothing but luck. This emotion that sets millions of hearts on fire around the world is unmeasurable, and I envy anyone who gets it right.

For me... Well I'll never forget my first love. He made me; an unemotional, outspoken, footy loving, hard tom boy type chick, into someone who actually gave a damn about someone of the opposite sex. He made me into a softer person. He showed me what it is to care and to feel those feelings, even though they were all in vain, they were feelings that I don't regret having and that I'll always be grateful for... As they say, "Its better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all"....

Now lies the question: "Is there anyone else out there strong enough to heal a broken heart enough for it to love again?"....

I guess only time will tell..... Until then...



One Love, One Life....

Monday, July 5, 2010


I've always been pretty independant, a bit of a 'ride solo' kinda person. In fact, up until this year, I think I may have had a bit of a people phobia because I was so used to doing things myself, and enjoyed my own company...Basically being around people kinda freaked me out... I'm also not the type of person to rely on anyone when it comes to anything.. I usually think I can handle it myself, and usually can, until the last few months...

I just turned 25 this year and honestly believe I am a different person to what I was this time last year. Moving to the city helped, but being so far away from all of my creature comforts, I've developed a new mind set on what it is to live...

It's so true when they say life is a rollarcoaster... Some times the ride is good and that carefree feeling takes over you and you feel like life is going great. Then there are times when you feel like the ride operator is purposely speeding up the rollarcoaster, just to mess with you, and you need to get off ASAP...

The 'I wanna get off the ride of life' moments that I've experienced this year, have shown me that when you're down and out, only your true friends will come through for you... The ones that will waste their credit to call you, just to see how you are. The ones that will convince you that you are doing the right thing and to stay on track. The ones who fill your heart, mind and soul with such joy that you look at your self doubt and think, 'what the f**k was I thinking'?....

People who do such things are the ones that will be there for you when no one else will... In times when the people who you think are the realest, turn out to be the fakest, you will be forced to sort through the pretenders from the keepers....

I am blessed to have such good friends that no matter what I am going through, I know they will be there for me... It's these friends that I literally would do anything for.... We can always forget what someone says to us, but we will never forget how someone makes us feel... My group of hand picked friends are not of quantity, but of quality, and I deeply appreciate the lengths they go to to help guide me through the hard times I experience in life...


Riding solo and being independant is good until a certain point, but to accept a hand up, a piece of advice and some hard stern talking too from someone who cares about you in this big bad world, is what I have found makes a good friendship...

To those who let me winge, moan, bitch, listen to my self doubt, and STILL talk to me after all the ear bashing I do to you, just know that I am forever in your debt... I believe 'Loyalty' is one of my biggest qualities, and often my downfall, but without you all, I wouldnt be half the person I am today...

So buckle up and enjoy the ride with the friends you make in this world... Share every moment of sadness, laughter and love with them, because you never know whats around the next bend of the rollarcoaster in this thing we call life.......



Until next time...

One Love, One Life.... X